The Old Pine Tree

I used to hate to leave home. I’d tear up when I pulled out of my parents’ driveway on my way back to Boston. Once I even cried the whole 4 hour trip back. I know, it sounds ridiculous. But leaving Maine felt a little like having a leg ripped off. And then I would get back to my apartment and unpack and call my mom and cry again. And she would remind me that I was really pretty close to home, I liked my life there, and if I really wanted to I could move back.

But I couldn’t move back for no reason. I worried I wouldn’t meet any interesting men, that there would be no fulfilling job, and there would be no culture or diversity to stimulate me. Strange that I could miss a place so much when I obviously thought so little of it.

I was out of state for 7 years. This past Thanksgiving was the second one where I didn’t have to cross state lines in order to go home. Last Saturday, when I came back to Portland, there were no tears. There was something like relief. It had been a great few days with friends and family, and now I was ready for some alone time. It was getting dark but I was desperate for fresh air so I went out and walked around the West End.

There was the ocean, pulling away from the Fore River, and there was the hill, grassy and sweet smelling under dry brown leaves, and there was the sun slipping down behind the White Mountains. I-295 was there in the distance, but it was asking nothing of me. It was not taking me back to another state against my will. There was a moment of silence between us; a thoughtful nod of acknowledgement. Things were right with the world, and my heart swelled a little bit to think that I could leave home but still be in Maine and feel such an utter sense of belonging.

I have seen a number of posts here on Tumblr about growing green onions. Apparently, after you cut them up, if you take the piece with the roots and put it in water, new green onions will grow. Well, I tried it last week, and sure enough, new green onions have shot right up! I need to get a taller container (maybe a pint sized mason jar) and add more, but I figure I won’t have to buy green onions all winter! Here’s to growing and reusing and sustainability during the cold snowy months!

She’ll encourage you on those long runs when you want anything but to move your feet even one more centimeter. And when you’re holed up in your apartment trying to get three projects done in one Sunday she’ll make you take a break to go out for food and a glass of wine. And so you tell her that when she’s training in February sure you’ll get a head lamp and run through the city with her after dark. Because that’s what running pals are for.

I have entered the three week period of misery, also known as grad school finals. Any good stress relieving tips?

cold hands, hot tea
simplicity.

My friend from Belarus came up to experience a traditional American Thanksgiving. This morning he made us draniki, Belarussian potato pancakes, made with potatoes, salt, one egg, and some flour.

All week I have been wishing it was snowy so I could xc ski at home, but it’s been too warm and it’s too early. But then I turn on the tv this morning and my parents are supposed to get 8-12” of snow tomorrow. BOOYA.

You have to plan ahead if you like cranberries, because in November they are everywhere and after Christmas they disappear into oblivion and you’re hard pressed to find them unless you want to pay three times as much. The good news is that cranberries store well in the freezer. Just toss the bag right in and forget about them.

I like homemade cranberry sauce just as much as the next woman, probably more (do not even come at me with that canned stuff), but there are a few other ways to use them.

smoothies
You might think that cranberries would make a smoothie too tart, but actually, I find that it balances it out quite nicely. I use orange juice in my smoothies which is kind of sweet, so the cranberries add a tang. I put in a whole handful (along with things like frozen strawberries and mangos). No need to add any sugar, trust me.

ice cubes for festive drinks
rinse and dry the cranberries and then stick them in an open bowl in the freezer for parties or festive girlfriend get-togethers. Instead of using ice cubes for holiday drinks, throw in some frozen cranberries. They are especially pretty in something fizzy.

health
Ok, this isn’t a use, but really, they are stellar for the bod. Ladies, they have special benefits just for you! But rather than bore the gentleman that read the OPT with the details, I will let you turn to our friend Google. Seriously, we’re talking all natural remedies here. 

I can’t speak for all artists, but I know for myself, when I feel something, subconsciously everything starts to revolve around that state of mind. I listen to music that nourishes whatever it is I’m feeling, I read old writing that similarly expresses what is going on inside my head, and I do this retreating dance from the rest of the world for a day or so. I sink deeper into that feeling, and at some point during the process I’m at a good place (or bad, depending on the feeling) to write about it, sing about it, whatever it might be. And then once it’s out there I can climb back out of the hole I’ve dug myself into and join the rest of society again.

My bandmate recently wrote a piece about creativity and it really resonated with me, so I thought I would share part of it:

“The artist is sensitive, to the world around him and to his interior world.  He is perhaps more aware than the average man.  Perhaps he sees and feels more deeply than most.  His sensitivity demands that he be equally susceptible to both pain and joy.  Thus winter weighs him down with intensified despair, while spring releases him in unsurpassable ecstasy.  His struggles are more painful, his joys more blissful.  He is neurotic insofar as he very rarely, if ever, rests peacefully and contentedly in a calm between state, but rather oscillates between the two extremes of his temperament. 

Though his being may suffer as a result, his art is enriched.  He is able, through his own, intimate experience, to express a greater breadth of humanity.  His capacity for empathy thus broadened, he may connect with more people.  Whereas the average man tries to ignore or to do away with his pain, the artist is sensitive to his pain and sits with it in awareness, with the ultimate hope of knowing himself better so that he may express himself more fully and touch others more deeply.”
-RB

If I were occupying this is what I would be “fighting” for:

• equal access to affordable health care
• student loan forgiveness programs
• gay rights
• energy independence and investment in innovative alternative energy solutions

I am 100% behind the “99%” standing up for these types of things and giving voice to the oppressive frustration that most of us feel about opportunities and fairness in this country.

But I’m just going to say it. I’m not really in support of city campgrounds. Over the past two weeks every time I have walked downtown I haven’t seen anyone out on the street trying to send a message. I don’t want to say too much, because maybe they are doing things I am not aware of, but when the winter comes on hard here in Portland, I don’t think allowing a bunch of people in insufficient housing to camp in a park is necessarily smart.

If people want to get back out there and get their voices heard, unify their message, organize directives for the change they truly want to create, then go ahead, camp all day and all night, I’m ok with that. But honestly, people camping without actually doing anything kind of sounds like moving back in with your parents and not paying rent while they work all day. Not to mention it’s bad for our parks to completely overtake green space like that.

I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but if you want others to respect your opinion, you have to be willing to do the same in return.

I just experienced the warm lovely salty comfortness of Petite Jacqueline for the first time (living only a few minutes walk away this was long overdue). I have a restaurant crush.This place makes me want it to be winter all year round (just kidding) so I can go back for their soup and warm atmosphere over and over again. Ahhhhhhhh (that sigh is for you Natters).

This week has been a little blah. My friend suggested it’s because finals are coming up and the light has changed and it’s dark all the time and the weather is getting colder (sometimes). I think he might be right. I also went through a little phase where I felt like I was never going to have a job I liked and I would have to settle for something just to pay the bills. When you go to graduate school you want to imagine it will open up desirable opportunities.

Artichokes This week I appreciated some of the little things, like artichokes and homemade salads made to perfection, or cooking dinner before I had my late class so that when I got home it was ready for me to devour.

CD Burner I have a netbook and I finally bought a USB cd drive so I can burn and copy cds. This last week I made a cd of my band’s original music and it’s been really fun to have it in the car and hear our stuff on a better sound system than computer speakers.

Veranda Thai This little place is over on Washington and Veranda street. On Thursday nights I often order from there because I’m so hungry after class and don’t have a lot of time before band practice. YUM. It’s great fresh and the leftovers last me a day, sometimes two. Awesome.

Good fortune and perseverance After I’d been feeling sulky about future career options I basically got an unofficial offer to have my dream job after graduation. A lot of things have to fall into place first, but I practically fell out of my chair. It was like someone read my mind. I can’t even express my ecstasy. Thank you hard work and knowing/going after what I want.

What are you grateful for today?

I just read this article in the New York Times:

Congress Blocks New Rules On School Lunches

This quote infuriated me:
”The companies called the Congressional response reasonable, adding that the Agriculture Department went too far in trying to improve nutrition in school lunches”

I didn’t realize it was possible to go too far in improving a child’s nutrition. But we’re not just talking about one child. We’re talking about every child, every child in the U.S. that goes to a public school.

How are people in the United States supposed to learn how to make healthy choices if our governing body, one of the most powerful in the entire world, takes it’s nutrition standards from frozen pizza companies and Coca-Cola? Public schools should be the one place where children, no matter their situation, are going to get healthy, wholesome, chemical-free, unprocessed meals that are dominated by fresh fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. It’s so simple that anything else is mind boggling.

Until congress is able to make thoughtful, well-meaning decisions not influenced by big daddy’s purse strings our children will continue to struggle with behavioral, health, attention, and learning difficulties.

I’m grateful that I will know enough to pack my children’s lunches some day. I will know where their carrots came from, what is in their sandwiches, and how much sugar (none) is in their drink. I wish that I could provide the same for every other child out there.